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    Forgiveness is a Choice

    March 15, 2017 – A day I will NEVER forget..

    Dear Aunties & Uncle,

    As I tearfully write this, mom has just endured the most degrading & humiliating experience of her life. She was treated like a common criminal for a sin she NEVER committed. YOU did this to her. I don’t know how, after seeing her go thought this, I can ever find it in me to forgive you to be perfectly honest. Burning anger lives in the walls of my heart & all I want to do is to curse you to the ends of the earth & wish you ill.

    Some of you who follow me on Instagram may have found my mugshot post a bit too much. I thought long & hard before I overshared. But my desire to inspire strength, hope & courage that can only be obtained through the grace of Jesus Christ outweighed my indignity over having undertaken a horrific experience. Close your eyes & just imagine your own elderly parent going through the exact ordeal. That was how I felt, magnify it by 100 because it was so real & not just a figment of my imagination. In line with us getting their own mugshots were handcuffed prostitutes, thieves, murderers. We DID NOT belong to these group of people, most certainly not my 85 year old mother.

    A Medical Doctor who always fought to save lives; an Educator who inspired & helped shape the minds of impressionable young men & women; a model citizen who obeyed the law at all times; you have just lined her up in the company of thieves, prostitutes & murderers. And for what? Your lust for money. Blood money that you don’t even deserve.

    The ONLY FEMALE ASIAN in her medical residency program at Jamaica Hospital in New York, my mom constantly struggled to make the most of a difficult situation & always came out shining. She is truly a fighter & always diligent in all her undertakings. What she has now, she worked hard for. Nothing was ever handed to her on a silver platter.

    I don’t need to tell you the hardships, mental & emotional torture she had endured with your family because you were there right from the start. You know what she has been through. From my adulterous Dad who disrespected her & brought men into his bed while we were right in the connecting bedroom. The degradation, harsh & insulting words frequently thrown at her in front of her hospital staff & colleagues, the violent tendencies she shielded us, her children from, and the snobbery of his espanola sisters who never accepted us into the Legaspi fold.

    A union of convenience & smokescreen for one, true love & hopeless devotion for the other. All her life, she was never dealt with a fair card. With her earnings abroad, she came home, partnered with my dad & they started building their empire. Together. So whatever she has, whatever she owns, she did not get by just sitting down & waiting for alms from my Dad. On the contrary, she always saved him from debt.

    But that’s not enough for you, is it? After having suffered & miraculously surviving a massive stroke just last year, you still found ways & means to continue torturing my mom instead of letting her live the rest of her life in peace & comfort. A life that she justly deserves after being entangled in your family.

    On November 20, 2015 mom suffered a massive stroke from all the stress that life has dealt her. Laboratory report identified it as an acute intracranial hemorrhage in the right occipital lobe extending into the right subarachnoid spaces. If you have been reading my blog for quite some time now, you may have followed my story on how she miraculously recovered the use of her legs through conscientious & tiring physical therapy session, even when the Doctors gave her a slim chance of recovery. Mom is really a survivor.

    No, Dad’s death 3 decades ago didn’t even bring her peace. Because you & your lot are still walking the earth. And you continue to make sure that she is eternally punished for her lack of “good breeding & exotic lineage”, even though she held a degree higher than yours & made a successful life for herself -something that you never had, and will never have. Even though she made something of herself from her own blood, sweat & tears. No, she will never be good enough for you.

    Widowed after 19 years of an unhappy & disruptive marriage, she rose above & made a life for us. On her own, with no help from anyone, least of all her in-laws.

    30 years. We never heard from you for 30 years since Dad passed away in 1986. It was only last year that you surfaced from years of no communication whatsoever for settlement. The family corporation which you were brought into ONLY BY NAME in order to fill the 2 out of 5 remaining incorporators, you were already justly compensated. All the financial losses brought about by the losing business, you had no hand in keeping alive through the years that you remained silent. Not a single centavo did you contribute to keep the business alive & kicking while my mom did everything necessary & in her power to keep it floating. And now after so many years, you awaken like a sleeping dragon with a vengeance so full & fierce that you seek to destroy us by suing us for perjury -the only case you & your equally malicious & money-grubbing lawyer can come up with. Lying under oath for Board Meetings we in fact, actually held over the years as the majority stockholders of the family corporation.

    Of course we had meetings. We sent you annual notices at the address you provided & as indicated in the GIS. It wasn’t our fault that you never showed up. And with our majority share, frankly put, we outrank you in any & every decision.

    Just when I thought we could finally put everything behind us, by your own hands, you have proven my mother right. That you are not to be trusted.

    Not only did you claim your share, but you also tricked us into giving you your sister’s share on the pretense that you had a Power of Attorney to act on her behalf.

     

     

     

    You invited us to a Chinese restaurant in Binondo, paid the bill for dinner, then calmly had me re-write the check intended for your sister to encash without her knowledge & consent. Now I don’t know if this isn’t the lowest of the low. Are you really that hard up on cash? Your working 4 children -3 of them abroad, not sending you any? You have always been the most beautiful among the 5 sisters, this just shows anyone can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

    But in spite of everything, do you know what scares me the most? That your blood runs through my veins. That I share the same genes. That I could be the same exact monster. A monster who not only betrays her brother and her sister for money, but also exploits her niece & turns the wheel of truth, influencing even the Notary Public into saying we  forged his signature on all the documents. Now that’s what you call a #BAMF If I weren’t so distraught I’d actually admire you for your cunningness.

    And what pains me the most is the fact kami na ang niloko, kami na yung naperwisyo, kami pa ang isinakripisyo. Where is justice in all this? Pera-pera nalang ba talaga sa mundo? My youngest daughter wants to be a lawyer. She doesn’t understand why her normally supportive mom is so against her career decision. It’s because I want to spare her the heartache & disappointment that the corrupt judicial system brings. Ours is not a fair world Bae. You are sure to be frustrated along the way because what is true, what is right, what is fair, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is a guaranteed win. Justice DOES NOT always prevail. At least if you’re a medical doctor, your one & only intercessor is Jesus Christ who is just & fair. No corruption involved & you get to save lives, God willing. Please consider your options carefully.

    As for our broker, you have proven that once the boat is sinking, it’s every man for himself. I understand. It’s just a bitter pill to swallow. All evidences of a fair transaction are here, done right in your own real estate office, notarized by your own team of accredited lawyers. But in spite of your Christian views & outlook -and being a church servant, you refuse to help a sister in Christ. You would rather let darkness win over light because you’d rather not get involved.

     

     

    Aunties & Uncle, you have also proven that Justice is NOT blind when you so conveniently manipulated it to your side by worldly means & gains. And now we have to pay for it because we stood our moral grounds, thinking good & justice will always prevail. Alas, we were wrong, so very wrong. Dirty money will always come into play & the bad will always rule over the good in this world.

    What sorcery is this? We never received any prior notices and here we are, a warrant of arrest has already been issued out of the blue and the FIRST HEARING set on April 5, 2017. To determine if we are guilty or not guilty. While our lawyer acted quickly & requested for a motion for investigation, it was denied forcefully by the presiding judge. Why? Why is this case even being given merit?

    Perjury. You’re saying WE LIED. The big question: Were there actual board meetings? Yes. Who is to say there were or there weren’t except the people who were actually there. And we, the MAJORITY of the shareholders, say there were in fact meetings. And yet, we are being persecuted. A waste of taxpayers money, wouldn’t you agree? Shouldn’t the government concentrate on more trivial affairs?

    Why persecute us? Because you were not contented with the money you received for the shares of stocks my dad ONLY put under your name for the sake of formality, while his children were still minors & couldn’t take seats in the board. Because you want more money, even going after personal properties under our name. You insist on getting a chunk of what is rightfully ours in spite of numerous explanations & evidences presented to you that the property is entirely separate from the corporation. It seems that you’re so hungry for it, did the money we give you run out already?

    The Sunday in church before all hell broke loose (in our lives at least) -March 12, God was speaking to me through our guest pastor, Vince Burke, and sending me an important message. I didn’t think of it as being directed towards me at the time, but as soon as things & days progressed and your plan came into play, I understood the meaning sent across clear as day. It was what held me through under duress. That just as Jesus Christ had forgiven my sins, like it or not, I TOO MUST forgive my trespassers. You.

    I cried a river when our Pastor showed this video clip of CORRIE TEN BOOM, feeling & commiserating for the missionary & what she had to go through. Feeling & commiserating for Christ Jesus who was punished heavily for sins he did not even commit. I didn’t know at the time that God was already speaking to my heart & preparing me for what was coming just 2 days after.

    Indeed, if God was able to forgive his adversaries from inflicting such pain, torture & humiliation, a million times more that what we endured today, who are we to cry out & ask for deliverance? What we went through is but a minuscule fraction of what God had to suffer.

    And so, with a clear conscience & a light heart, and even though you do not seek it, I choose to forgive you. Romans 12: 19 – Revenge is mine, says the Lord, but I will not even pray to MY Heavenly Father to smite you. Because I have so much, and you have nothing. I’ve been blessed a hundred fold, something which you have been denied. So no, I will not ask for a life more sorry & pathetic than what you are already living now. That is punishment enough.

    Forgiveness is a choice. You can be kind to yourself & choose peace over a lifetime of anger, or you can stay in the dark & let your vexation fester, giving the devil a foothold in your life. I choose to see the light in Jesus Christ. <3

    Prayer to Forgive

    Father, bless me with the wonderful power of forgiveness.
    Please give me the grace to unconditionally forgive those who have done me wrong.
    Give me the strength to let go of all ill will, and the strength to forgive myself of my own failings & sins knowing that you have already forgiven me.
    Free me, Father, of all anger, bitterness, hate & unforgiveness.
    In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

    While your children can’t stand you & have left you as soon as they were able to, I have the love & devotion of my family -plus we’re living the good life, a great life. So yes, you have every right to be jealous. To want my life, our life. It’s understandable.

    So dear Aunties & Uncle, rest in peace knowing that I have forgiven you. It may take a while for me to forget -the image of my mom looking beaten, forsaken & forlorn holding a poster with her name has been ingrained in my memory, but it is something I will work on. I have to in order to move on.

    I wish you a life of love, peace, and contentment. Accept Jesus Christ into your life while there’s still time & live the remaining days of your life in service to Him. Know God, know peace. No God, no peace.

    I pray that it is not too late for you Auntie.

    Your niece, Jane

    Due to insistent public demand, my mugshot. :P Might as well, coz you can never put a good woman down. In a year, I’ll look back at this photo, laugh & shrug -maybe even make it my profile picture on Facebook hehe. Because I WILL rise above. In case you’re curious, I paid 6k/count for my 11 counts of Perjury, plus a non-refundable court fee of 500 pesos/count. Ganyan talaga ang buhay, you win some, you lose some. In fair, on fleek ang kilay ko diba? Saka taray ng blush-on!

    My question & answer portion at the presinto..

    👮🏻 – Ma’am birthday?
    👸🏻 – Feb 20 ho.
    👮🏻 – Height?
    👸🏻 – 5’4″ ho.
    👮🏻 – Weight?
    👸🏻 – Aba masyado na ho yatang personal yang tanong na yan? Ikulong nyo nalang ako! ;))

    On the bright side, Ate came home with pasalubong. She knows my language of love, lol. Nothing lifts my sagging spirit faster than a yummy food basket. Hooray for Ice cream & onion rings. And just like that, she has turned my frown upside down. Thank you my darling for guessing what I need before I even know it. These really hit the spot. And thank you too for your unwavering support & for always reminding me who to live for. #family

    To my dear readers, especially my Instagram followers who have condoled with me & sent me heart-warming messages. To those who prayed with me & for me, THANK YOU. Truly & sincerely, my heart is no longer heavy because of your intercession. God has heard my cries & he has lifted my pain & burden.

    Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

    When you can’t forgive someone, pray for them. It may or may not change them, but it will always change YOU.

    On a lighter note, just because we all need a laugh after this heavy spiel..

    At the Bail Bonds place. A man tearfully tells the officer in charge his money is not enough for his bail. The amount for his particular offense is 3.5k (3k for bail & 500 for court fee) & he only has 3k plus some change for pamasahe back home to Bulacan. For 30 minutes he & the officer go back & forth..

    👮🏻 : Balik ka nalang bukas kulang yan hindi namin matatanggap.
    🤠: Sir sa Bulacan pa ho ako nakatira, wala na ako pang-pamasahe bukas maawa kayo.

    I wanted to help him but I had to know the crime he was in for first. Baka naman rapist, omamamatay tao, eh pabayaan ko na syang mabulok. So syempre usi muna ako bago give..

    👸🏻: Kuya, ano ho ba ang kaso nyo?
    🤠: Reckless impudence ho ma’am. May nabangga ako pero gasgas lang naman. Maliit lang hindi gaanong kalakihan.
    👸🏻: O eto kuya ang 500 para hindi ka na babalik bukas. Good luck nalang sa kaso mo.
    🤠: Maraming salamat ma’am. Baka ho kailangan nyo ng driver kunin nyo nalang ako wala na akong trabaho.
    👸🏻: Kuya. Nakabangga ka nga ng kotse diba. Reckless ka nga daw, eh bakit naman kita kukuning driver? Di sumakit pa ang ulo ko at magkasama na naman tayo dito sa susunod mong bunggo!

    Kaloka si Koya. Now, back to a serious note, please continue to pray for us, and for enlightenment for all the people concerned. #justiceforjane ;)

    Friends, if you are in a similar situation- or if you think that you are fighting a battle you can’t win, never lose hope. Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Tiwala lang, sagot tayo ni Lord. ;)